Announce Shenmue 3 And I'll Jizz In My Pants

Dear SEGA,

My dick in a box?
Shit, for part 3, you can have
my balls in there too.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Art Is Not A Treasure In The Past Or An Importation From Another Land, But, Part Of The Present Life Of All Living And Creating Peoples

Dear SEGA,

I pledge you, I pledge
myself, to a new Shenmue
for all the people.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Take A Look Ahead, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... Whoa!

Dear SEGA,

You should go back to
living in competition.
DREAMCAST 2 BABY!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Bums Are The Well-To-Do Of This Day. They Don't Have As Far To Fall.

Dear SEGA,

Like Jackson Pollock,
I tend to make random shit
and call it hard work.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Toilets Were Invented Just For Such Purposes

Dear SEGA,

This game shot all my
cherished SEGA memories
right down the crapper.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

And Apples It'll Be

Dear SEGA,

Oy! Throw another
Shenmue on the barbie, yeah.
Av-a-go-yer-mug!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Stop Running From the Truth

Dear SEGA,

To give anything
less than Shenmue 3 is to
sacrifice the gift.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Indefinite Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Dear SEGA,

Like Samurai Jack,
Ryo Hazuki's story
remains unfinished.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Time To Die?

Dear SEGA,

When you're gone, all your
classics will be lost in time,
like tears in the rain.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

You've Been Posessed By Yakuza Money Launderers

Dear SEGA,

You'll suck cocks in hell
for the shitty licensed games
you keep churning out.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Enrollment In The Game Player's Club Comes With A Complimentary Membership To The Players-With-Yourself Club, The Two Go Hand In Hand Ya Might Say

Dear SEGA,

Who loves ya baby?
I'm in the Game Player's Club!
Now, where's Shenmue 3?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Through the Darkness Of Future Past...

Dear SEGA,

...fanboys long to see.
One chants out between two worlds,
"SEGA, make part 3!"

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Want Some Butter With That?

Dear SEGA,

For some Shenmue 3,
you can have lots of popcorn
and swim in that shit.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

One Of Japan's National Treasures

Dear SEGA,

Need something to do?
Takeshi challenges you
to make Shenmue 3.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

All My Benjamins Are Belong To Shenmue 3

Dear SEGA,

Shenmue 3 would be
proof that you love us and want
to see us happy.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Somebody Get That Girl A Shenmue Sandwich

Dear SEGA,

'Cause you won't make it,
Kate Moss is on hunger strike.
Feed her Shenmue 3!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Si-Mon!

Dear SEGA,

Will 2010
be the year we're finally
playing what we want?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

The Seal Of Approval Sentences You To Death

Dear SEGA,

Benedict Arnolds,
you have betrayed quality!
Put on your blind-folds!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Whatever Happened To Nicole Eggert?

Dear SEGA,

Charles still in charge!
He demands Shenmue 3 and
a kiss from Jamie.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

1,000,000 More

Dear SEGA,

We'll keep them coming!
How many more John Hancocks
do you need to see?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

In Soloing, As In other Activities, It Is Far Easier To Start Something, Than To Finish It

Dear SEGA,

For a new Shenmue,

I would fly across the globe.

I'd even get lost.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Like This Lady

Dear SEGA,

Shenmue fans stay true.

Heartache to heartache we stand.

For eternity...

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

If You Take No Risks, You Will Suffer No Defeats. But, If You Take No Risks, You Win No Victories.

Dear SEGA,

He is not a crook!

But, you are, for selling us

all of your crapware.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Don't Be Cruel, SEGA

Dear SEGA,

You fools should rush in

and make Shenmue 3, uh-huh.

Thank ya very much.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Transatlantic Phone Service, What Would I Do Without You?

Dear SEGA,

Get me on the horn

with Hajime Satomi.

I'll straighten him out.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

I Have A Cunning Plan

Dear SEGA,

Rowan Atkinson

as Blackadder in Hong Kong

1988.

While working at the

Consulate, he meets Ryo.

Adventures ensue.

And there you have a

Blackadder 5/ Shenmue 3

crossover special.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Get Up And Run From Sammy As Fast As You Can

Dear SEGA,

Like Snoopy once did,

you, too, must get up and walk

on your own two feet.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Translate This And You'll Win A Cookie

Dear SEGA,










Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Nobody Can Resist Them

Dear SEGA,

I'll give you tons of

chocolate covered cherries

for some more Shenmue.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

And At Least One To Match Every Pair Of Underwear I Own

Dear SEGA,

We need 3 Shenmues.

At least one to match every

Law of Robotics.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

2010 - The Year You Make Shenmue 3

Dear SEGA,

Happy Shogatsu!

My New Year's resolution?

Keep bothering you.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.