Sunday, January 31, 2010

Announce Shenmue 3 And I'll Jizz In My Pants


Dear SEGA,

My dick in a box?
Shit, for part 3, you can have
my balls in there too.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Toilets Were Invented Just For Such Purposes


Dear SEGA,

This game shot all my
cherished SEGA memories
right down the crapper.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Stop Running From the Truth



Dear SEGA,

To give anything
less than Shenmue 3 is to
sacrifice the gift.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Time To Die?


Dear SEGA,

When you're gone, all your
classics will be lost in time,
like tears in the rain.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Friday, January 22, 2010

You've Been Posessed By Yakuza Money Launderers


Dear SEGA,

You'll suck cocks in hell
for the shitty licensed games
you keep churning out.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Monday, January 18, 2010

Sunday, January 17, 2010

All My Benjamins Are Belong To Shenmue 3


Dear SEGA,

Shenmue 3 would be
proof that you love us and want
to see us happy.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Somebody Get That Girl A Shenmue Sandwich


Dear SEGA,

'Cause you won't make it,
Kate Moss is on hunger strike.
Feed her Shenmue 3!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Si-Mon!


Dear SEGA,

Will 2010
be the year we're finally
playing what we want?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Like This Lady


Dear SEGA,

Shenmue fans stay true.
Heartache to heartache we stand.
For eternity...

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I Have A Cunning Plan


Dear SEGA,

Rowan Atkinson
as Blackadder in Hong Kong
1988.

While working at the
Consulate, he meets Ryo.
Adventures ensue.

And there you have a
Blackadder 5/ Shenmue 3
crossover special.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Get Up And Run From Sammy As Fast As You Can


Dear SEGA,

Like Snoopy once did,
you, too, must get up and walk
on your own two feet.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Nobody Can Resist Them


Dear SEGA,

I'll give you tons of
chocolate covered cherries
for some more Shenmue.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Friday, January 1, 2010