Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Candy Day!


Dear SEGA,

Happy Halloween!
Make another Shenmue and
one more Mr. Bones.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Make It Your Primary Objective


Dear SEGA,

Jack Bauer needs it.
Get the man some Shenmue 3
or he'll shoot your ass.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

: (


Dear SEGA,

Wouldn't ya know it,
it's October twenty-eighth.
And we have no "3".

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Better The Economy Than The Law


Dear SEGA,

Keep fighting the war,
you fought the economy
and that fucker won.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Monday, October 26, 2009

As Good A Reason As Any


Dear SEGA,

Make Shenmue 3 for
liberty and great justice.
These are good reasons?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

My Mission Rings True


Dear SEGA,

Wouldn't do this if
nobody could change your mind.
It is my mission.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Predictable Predictions


Dear SEGA,

Shenmue 3 gets made
when SEGA and Sammy split.
Wouldn't that be nice?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Friday, October 23, 2009

FINISH IT!!


Dear SEGA,

Don't make me get all
A ,B, A, C, A, B, B
blood code on your ass

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Better Them Than Ristar


Dear SEGA,

The next SSB
should have Ryo and Lan-Di
as new characters.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

Make It A Late Night


Dear SEGA,

I'll even trade a
fourth meal for the third shenmue.
Do you like tacos?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Enthusiasm To The Nth Degree


Dear SEGA,

Do I think the world
will ever see Shenmue 3?
Fuckinay right, man!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

More Whining



Dear
SEGA,
Hello there!
It's me again.
You know what I want,
after all my griping.
You need to make more Shenmue,
it should be a sequel to "2".
Make Shenmue 3, not an MMO,
an MMO just doesn't fit.
A direct sequel would rock!
So hop to it, SEGA,
please make another.
Give us part 3,
I'm begging!
You guys...
please?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The World's Most Retarded Haiku


Dear SEGA,

Fuku-san, Fuku-san, yeah!
Fuku-san, Fuku-san, Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Fuku-san, Fuku-san, Yeah!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Someone Like Yu Suzuki


Dear SEGA,

Once upon a time
in the kingdom of SEGA
quality was king

King Quality died
and Hajime Satomi
took over the reigns

Abdicate the throne
you fucking Yakuza dog
to someone worthy

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Also Known As A Cake Stall


Dear SEGA,

To support Shenmue,
have a very large bake sale.
That'll do the trick.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Shenmue Shuffle


Dear SEGA,

This guy might bust out
his credit cards to fund all
subsequent Shenmues.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Friday, October 9, 2009

Trapped!


Dear SEGA,

What's that girl? Ryo's
trapped in a cave on Guilin?
SEGA, you fucktards!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Supermonkeyballsuckers


Dear SEGA,

Because you suck balls,
I am teabagging your face.
My nuts in your mouth.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

He's So Twakked


Dear SEGA,

This guy hasn't played
Shenmue at all, but you should
still make it for him.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Because It Would Be


Dear SEGA,

Use the assets you
already have to remake
Shenmue 1 through 6.

Travel back in time
to the year that Dreamcast launched.
Pack them together.

Release it on that,
and we could party like it's
1999.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Crazy Like A Taxi


Dear SEGA,

Shenmue is awesome!
You gotta be fuckin nuts
not to continue.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Friday, October 2, 2009