Neoclassical

Dear SEGA,

Forget the 3D.
Keep Sonic 2D and be
neoclassical.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Cocksuckers!

Dear SEGA,

If I fuckin' bleat
when I speak, it's because I
just got fuckin' fleeced!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Stop Fucking Us In The Ass!

Dear SEGA,

"But I poop from there!"
She said, and then you replied,
"Not right now, you don't."

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Bat Outta Hell

Dear SEGA,

You know, I would do
anything for Shenmue 3...
but I won't do that.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Beating A Dead Horse

Dear SEGA,

3D Sonic games
suck even harder than the new
Prisoner remake.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Balls?

Dear SEGA,

Don't play it too safe.
Sometimes you should forget your
head and grab your balls.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!

Sorry, Your Honor,
I was distracted by the
newest Shenmue game.

Go Forth Now, And Skate The Path Of Righteousness!

Dear SEGA,

Father Donaldo
wants you back in the Wheel Zone
to find Shenmue 3.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Hajime Satomi Isn't In Charge Anymore

Dear Hajime Satomi,

You are not in charge.
Charles and Yu are, and they're
making Shenmue 3.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

The Carlton

Dear SEGA,



Announce Shenmue 3,
and I'll do The Carlton Dance
till the sun don't shine.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

You've Paid Your Dues

Dear SEGA,

Play it safe? Mistakes
are part of the dues one pays
for a full life, man.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Have Yu Suzuki On The Show

Dear Jimmy Fallon,

You fancy yourself
a gamer, right? How 'bout some
Shenmue on late night?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Pain Is Temporary. Quitting Lasts Forever

Dear SEGA,

Hey, if you worried
about falling off the bike,
you'd never get on.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

4 Shenmues Wouldn't Be A Crowd

Dear SEGA,

Three's company, right?
So get to making the third
Shenmue, already!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Moving In Stereo

Life's the same, moving
in stereo. Life's the same,
except for Shenmue.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

The Real Hell Of Life Is Everyone Has His Reasons

Dear SEGA,

Is it possible
to succeed without any
act of betrayal?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Eyeballs

Dear SEGA,

Who needs visuals?
With what you've been making...we
don't need eyes to see.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Rikes!

Dear SEGA,

Rikes! Ruh roh, REGA!
Renrue randrich, ree hee hee!
Rooby rooby rooooooooooo!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

The Only Cure For Contempt Is Counter-Contempt

Dear SEGA,

I go on blogging
for the same reason that hens
go on laying eggs.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Never Trust The Artist. Trust The tale

Dear SEGA,

I like to write when
I feel spiteful. It is like
having a good sneeze.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Winning Isn't Everything, But Wanting It Is

Dear SEGA,

The ones that look like
they can't be done are the most
rewarding to do.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

The Price Is Wrong, Bitch!

Dear SEGA,

Over 300
for your next-gen Segadrive?
The price is wrong, BITCH!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Wild On! Guilin

Dear SEGA,

Hey, how about a
Wild On! that cave in Guilin?
GET WILD ON THAT SHIT.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

---> Insert Title Here <---

Dear SEGA,

You say you shouldn't
make new games like Shenmue 3,
I say you better.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

If You Want To Travel To Dobuita Street And You're Not Japanese...You Might Be A Shenmue Fan

If you write haiku
on a blog each day...you might
be a Shenmue fan.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

No More Garbage

Dear SEGA,

Put the service in

Service Games by not making

crap licensed titles.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Homey The Clown - Don't Mess Around - Even Though The Man - Try To Keep Him Down

Dear SEGA,

3D Sonic games?
Whatever. I don't think so,
Homey don't play dat.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

I Just Wanted To Say Shenmue 3 3 Times In One Haiku

Dear SEGA,

I want Shenmue 3.
Everyone wants Shenmue 3.
You want Shenmue 3.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Whoah!

Dear SEGA,

3D Sonic games
make me feel like throwing up
all over the street.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Master Of Adventure

Dear SEGA,

I write to escape;
to escape poverty and
life without Shenmue.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.