Rock Over London, Rock On chicago. Dreamcast. It's Thinking!

Dear SEGA,

If you don't make it,
the Chickencow will catch you
and stab your ass off.

Sincerely Yours
,Shenmue Fan.

Hajime Satomi Is A Snake 2

Dear Sammy,

There is no honor
in dumping your snake on a
defeated SEGA.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

An Idealist Without Illusions

Dear SEGA,

Conformity's the
jailer of freedom and the
enemy of growth.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Stealth Mode Compromised!

Dear Hajime Satomi,

Hey, Yakuza dog!
Basic black's not really you.
Prison grey, perhaps?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Wave Good-Bye To Your Buddies, SEGA!

Oh shit, I forgot.
You don't have buddies, do you?
Only customers!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

If You're Hiding It, You Will Lose Your Heads

Dear SEGA,

I need Shenmue here!
I love a warm Shenmue 3
for my aching feet.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Shenmue 3 Time, Excellent!

Dear SEGA,

Shenmue 3, denied!
Hey, I know, I'll just play the
"Make Shenmue 3 Riff!"

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

What Hath SEGA Wrought?

Dear SEGA,

What hath SEGA wrought?
Lots of great games, lots of bad.
No Shenmue 3, yet...

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Another Sonic Rant

Dear SEGA,

Sonic's problem is
that it's like being born rich
and getting poorer.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

The House Of The Dead Gaming Giant

Dear SEGA,

Quick, SEGA, before

zombies take over the world.

FINISH THE SERIES!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Treat Us Right, Treat Your Fanbase Right!

Dear SEGA,

I pity the Foo
that keeps ruining all their
classic franchises.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

The Dance Of Joy

Dear SEGA,

Hey, cousin Sega!
Make Shenmue 3 and we shall
do the dance of joy.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Fezzik, Listen. Do You Hear That?

Dear SEGA,

That is the sound of
ultimate suffering from
all the Shenmue fans.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Blerg

Dear SEGA,

They have Shenmue 3?
I want to go to there! Yup.
But you won't let me.

:(

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Don't Toast To My Health, Toast To My Fuck!

Dear SEGA,

Baby wants to play
some Shenmue fuckin 3, then
baby wants to fuck!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Bond, Not Pond

Dear SEGA,

The name's Bond. James Bond.
A vodca martini please.
Shenmue threed, not stirred.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

At Least You'll Still Be Taking People's Quarters

Dear SEGA,

Keep making bullshit.

Pretty soon you'll be sleeping

in cardboard boxes.

Ten shit games later,

chapter eleven AHOY!

That's where you're headed.

So stop making crap

and start making games that rock,

like the good ol' days.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Completely Sick Of These Make Your Own Character RPGS

Dear SEGA,

Alpha Protocol?
YAWN... I couldn't be any
less interested.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Ruin Any Classic Franchises Lately?

Dear SEGA,

That is like asking
a cobbler if he's made too
many pairs of shoes.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

A Shitty Limerick for Ye'

Dear SEGA,

You used to be called Service Games
And used to kick ass and take names
Then you merged with Sammy
And your games got shammy
Shortly after that you lost fames


Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Fuckinay Right

Dear SEGA,

I've been doing this
for a year now, and I'm good
for another ten!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Get To Work

Dear SEGA,

Ya know, it's stasis
that kills you off in the end,
not your ambition.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Happy Mother's Day!

Dear SEGA,

This year, get her a
box of Shenmue 3, instead
of milk chocolate.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Keiji Inafune's Favorite SEGA Game?

Dear SEGA,

He liked MM3
the least, maybe he will like
Shenmue 3 the most.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Your Sun Sets To Rise Again

Dear SEGA,

Bayonetta's Great!
Does a minute's success pay
the failure of years?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Ask Not What You Can Do For Your Country. Ask What's For Lunch

Dear SEGA,

Like Orson Welles,
you started from the top, and
worked your way downward.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Shenmue 3 > Fable 3?

Dear SEGA,

At least you don't have
Peter Molyneux's penchant
for hyperbole.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

None, That's What

Dear SEGA,

What other game has
anything close to Shenmue's
deep weather system?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

The Dog That Trots About Finds A Bone

Dear SEGA,

You will never find
a better sparring partner
than adversity.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

In Automotive Terms...

Dear SEGA,

...Your games may supply
the power, but you guys have
to do the steering.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

In Hawaii, May Day is Lei Day

Dear SEGA,

It's May Day again.
Bring in the summer with a
brand new Shenmue game!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.