Why? Because I Need Shenmue 3, But I Can Wait. Until The Stars Burn Out If You Don't Make Up Your Mind.

Dear SEGA,

Eternity here
in that sagging skin suit, or
one more Shenmue game?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

I'm Begging, SEGA Please!

Dear SEGA,

SEGA, you got me
on my knees, SEGA, won't you
ease my worried mind?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Give Up the Prize

Dear SEGA,

There can be only
2 Shenmues? Fuck that, SEGA!
I will take your head.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Where My Corndog?

Dear SEGA,

Shenmue on a stick.
Hey, it sounds better than that
dumbass MMO.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

No? Because It's Not There!

Dear SEGA,

Do you see a sign
out in fucking front that says
dead Shenmue storage?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Not Making Shenmue 3 Would Be Highly Illogical

Dear SEGA,

Part 3 is the next
logical course of action.
Live long and prosper.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Sock It To Me, Sock It To Me, Sock It To Me, Sock It To Me

Dear SEGA,

You don't have any
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
for your customers.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Now Drop And Give Me Shenmue 3!

Dear SEGA,

Holy dog shit, man!
SEGA? Only licensed "SHIT"
games come from SEGA!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Seven Samurai 20XX? What's Next, Rashomonsters Brawl? Robo-Ikiru? Dersu Uzala Pachinko? I Should Stop Giving You Ideas.

Dear SEGA,

I've hired a group
of samurai to protect
us from your crapware.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Viva Billiam Shat!

Dear SEGA,

Like Bill, you're has beens.
To save your ass, you should call
Rescue 911.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Happy Birthday Konami!

Dear SEGA,

Press up, up, down, down,
left, right, left, right, B,A, start.
Bam, thirty Shenmues!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Shenmue 3. We've Gotta Have It.

Dear SEGA,

What made you the best
in the universe? It's got
to be the Shenmues!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Or Will I?

Dear SEGA,

Who is number 1?
You were, but, not anymore.
Be seeing you, then.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Is It Gonna Take Another 70,000 Of These?

Dear SEGA,

The U.S.A is
a nation to which part 3's
a necessity.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Dear SEGA,

He drove all the snakes
from Ireland, now he's driving
them out of SEGA.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

You Have Been Somewhat Forthcoming Lately

Dear SEGA,

Today's the day for
freedom of information.
So, will there be three?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

You Must Pay The Price To Secure The Blessing

Dear SEGA,

Shenmue fans are not
perfect, but, we are called to
a perfect mission.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Indeed

Dear SEGA,

A perfection of
means, and confusion of aims,
is your main problem.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Your Good Deed For The Year

Dear SEGA,

Help a fanboy out.
Be a good samaritan,
and make Shenmue 3.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Blast Processing All Over Your Face

Dear SEGA,

Give Sonic a rest,
make Ron Jeremy The Hedgehog.
In 3d even...

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Part 3 To Be Precise

Dear SEGA,

What's the answer to
life, the universe, and
everything? Shenmue.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Have You Ever Fucked Classic Franchises On Cocaine, SEGA?

Dear SEGA,

I will do my best
to manipulate you guys
into making it.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Let The Onslaught Begin

Dear SEGA,

Location: Worldwide
Operation: Shenmue 3
ETA: Real Soon

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Don't Make Her Get All China O' Brien On Ya

Dear SEGA,

Cynthia Rothrock,
The Queen Of Martial Arts Films,
needs some more Shenmue.

This woman will work
your face with her fists and feet,
unless you make it.

Just to clarify,
by "it", I mean Shenmue 3.
As if you don't know!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Do You Know Where I Can Find Some Kleenex?

Dear SEGA,

Don't make me cry guys.
I'll really cry, they won't be
aligator tears.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Don't Make Shaqmue 3!

Dear SEGA,

Since you've dropped consoles,
I'm surprised you haven't made
stupid shit like this.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Aint That A Kick In The Butt

Dear SEGA,

You must finish the
Shenmue series in order
to make your next leap.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

I Don't Think I Could Handle Christopher Lambert Portraying Lan-Di

Dear SEGA,

Whatever you do,
do not let Paul Anderson
make a Shenmue film.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Beam Us Up, SEGA

Dear SEGA,

I canna change the
laws of physics! I've got to
have sixteen chapters!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Stop Skullbopping Your Fans, SEGA

Dear SEGA,

You guys are cowboys.
You've seen a million faces,
and you've fucked them all.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Work all Night On A Drink Of Rum

Dear SEGA,

Se-ga! Se-ay-ga!
Shenmue 3 come and I wan'
go home and play it.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.