Blast Processing All Over Your Face

Dear SEGA,

Give Sonic a rest,
make Ron Jeremy The Hedgehog.
In 3d even...

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Part 3 To Be Precise

Dear SEGA,

What's the answer to
life, the universe, and
everything? Shenmue.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Have You Ever Fucked Classic Franchises On Cocaine, SEGA?

Dear SEGA,

I will do my best
to manipulate you guys
into making it.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Let The Onslaught Begin

Dear SEGA,

Location: Worldwide
Operation: Shenmue 3
ETA: Real Soon

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Don't Make Her Get All China O' Brien On Ya

Dear SEGA,

Cynthia Rothrock,
The Queen Of Martial Arts Films,
needs some more Shenmue.

This woman will work
your face with her fists and feet,
unless you make it.

Just to clarify,
by "it", I mean Shenmue 3.
As if you don't know!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Do You Know Where I Can Find Some Kleenex?

Dear SEGA,

Don't make me cry guys.
I'll really cry, they won't be
aligator tears.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Don't Make Shaqmue 3!

Dear SEGA,

Since you've dropped consoles,
I'm surprised you haven't made
stupid shit like this.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Aint That A Kick In The Butt

Dear SEGA,

You must finish the
Shenmue series in order
to make your next leap.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

I Don't Think I Could Handle Christopher Lambert Portraying Lan-Di

Dear SEGA,

Whatever you do,
do not let Paul Anderson
make a Shenmue film.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Beam Us Up, SEGA

Dear SEGA,

I canna change the
laws of physics! I've got to
have sixteen chapters!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Stop Skullbopping Your Fans, SEGA

Dear SEGA,

You guys are cowboys.
You've seen a million faces,
and you've fucked them all.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Work all Night On A Drink Of Rum

Dear SEGA,

Se-ga! Se-ay-ga!
Shenmue 3 come and I wan'
go home and play it.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.