Also Known As A Cake Stall

Dear SEGA,

To support Shenmue,

have a very large bake sale.

That'll do the trick.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Shenmue Shuffle

Dear SEGA,

This guy might bust out

his credit cards to fund all

subsequent Shenmues.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Holy Fuckle

Dear SEGA,



This is straight awesome!
I'll buy it for 360
to show you support

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Trapped!

Dear SEGA,

What's that girl? Ryo's

trapped in a cave on Guilin?

SEGA, you fucktards!

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

...And Hajime Satomi Is A Hamster!

Dear SEGA,

Because you gave up,

I fart in your general

direction, SEGA.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Supermonkeyballsuckers

Dear SEGA,

Because you suck balls,

I am teabagging your face.

My nuts in your mouth.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Failure's No Excuse

Dear SEGA,

Failure's no excuse,

after all, Ubisoft made

B.G and E 2.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

He's So Twakked

Dear SEGA,

This guy hasn't played

Shenmue at all, but you should

still make it for him.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Because It Would Be

Dear SEGA,

Use the assets you

already have to remake

Shenmue 1 through 6.

Travel back in time

to the year that Dreamcast launched.

Pack them together.

Release it on that,

and we could party like it's

1999.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Crazy Like A Taxi

Dear SEGA,

Shenmue is awesome!

You gotta be fuckin nuts

not to continue.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Sit And Sonic-Spin On It, SEGA

Dear SEGA,

Shame on you, SEGA!

You lead us on and then just

stop in the middle.

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.

Objects In Rear View Dragon Mirror May Appear Closer In Reality

Dear SEGA,

Part 3 rather than

Sonic Superfrakk Racetrack.

What's it called again?

Sincerely Yours,
Shenmue Fan.